Date: J-69 (Aka June 23, 2010, 10:29 PM).
My recent victory Monday evening (scoring the Mention Très Bien at the French Baccalauréat, if you're unfamiliar, google it, but it's far tougher than the SAT or any other exam you'll take before graduate school... with an average of 16.86/20 and 18/20 in history) left me rather lightheaded. I am delighted but yet feeling nostalgic (the explanation is clear and something I do not wish to share so publicly...) and rather impatient for college to start in Paris (thus the methodic countdown). After the most exhausting senior year of my life, I must say having a fully empty schedule, with no revisions or urgent assignment to turn in, puts me rather at loss. But this will fade, go much faster than I expect, and sooner than I think, I will be back to my crazy life...
In the meanwhile, I know I must push myself to practice what, some say, is my greatest talent: writing. I am discouraged by the lack of inspiration (what on earth am I going to write about... well, writing, but the blank page remains rather discouraging), the countless desperate authors who, despite their talent, are shunned by publishers and by the public. I must say, I haven't really known defeat in my life, (after Monday, my theory being ''I'm a redhead, everything happens the way I want").
Yet again, these are just negative thoughts that I must push away. Maybe this summer, I will hatch a best-selling novel (Must do one of those while I'm still young; I've missed the ''underage'' mark, do I still get the ''wunderkind genius'' label?), or maybe I will not. An idea was born in my head today and I might stick to it. It is rather shocking.
Today, while sipping another bottle of sparkling water (These do a rather respectable replacement of champagne, especially with a bitter taste, when you live in a radically conservative country with a complex about alchohol (Sorry, America, I love you, but those remnants of the prohibition and puritanism in general make you seem as narrow-minded and extremist as the cultures who want to annihilate you...)) and treating myself with coconut white chocolate (too bad the morning jogging effort was blasted...), I pictured myself victorious, with everything going exactly the way I want in my life. Why, in a way, does it seem at the same time so distant and incredibly possible? As humans, don't we strive for happiness? Isn't everything a consequence of our actions? Then, why are our lives so incredibly complicated? Why is there always a double-sided dilemma to everything?
Here go the philosophical questions. And the sign that it's enough for today...
So with a smile (and another glass of sparkling water with a lime wedge waiting for me, although ''dismembered'' for now), I bid thee, o faithful reader, farewell...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Everything has a beginning, so let's start, shall we?
Date : Saturday, June 19th 2010, or shall I say ''J-72''.
More precisely, seventy-two days left till I leave to Paris for my exchange program with NYU. In the meanwhile, I am done with school, aka super-tough French high school that transforms you into a sometimes-low-estime Red Bull addict, but when you suceed at the smallest thing, you get that victorious feeling that comes with exhaustion). Why France? Because I was born thinking in French and I have developped a very deep ''relationship'' (if this term is possible) with this language. Because I love France (no, I am not French; and given recent observation, if I were, it is quite certain I would be only complaining about the high taxes and downsides of immigration. And the current baaaaaaaad economy in Europe). Because my dream was to study in Paris but I had to abandon it for practical reasons, and all of the sudden, back in December, I get an acceptance letter where they aren't giving me the choice to stay in New York.
But enough with the college introductory talk. I just survived the French Baccalauréat exams, and some terms are still fresh in my mind. Let us see...
Random impression: the relatively high-end stores close to where I live are having their annual sidewalk sale. It is fascinating to walk there because you realize what "Baby Boom" means, because this is the only time of the year you see such a gigantic concentration of ladies in their fifties or sixties, all colorful and chattering. I feel such dear affection towards them because I see the young feminists who used to dress in those fascinating 1960s fashion and fight for their reproductive rights and other.
Another term would be the ''Economic crisis''. From getting emails with jokes about the place of Greece in the probable economic downfall of Europe (for example, ''L'euro light, dépourvu de Grèce", which I do find racist), to never seeing as many police cars in my area, that is supposed to be safe! I usually feel safe going on a morning jog before sunrise, but not so long ago, I saw an old couple getting arrested next to an ATM. A serie of robberies and crimes would be related to the bad economy. I understand that people are facing hardship, yet I firmly believe that you cannot transgress anyone else's liberty.
Finally, ''Globalization'': because I actually live IN the first world capital and everything around me is international: people, areas, foods, languages. Because of cars with diplomatic licence plates who drive so badly. Because of the graphic beauty of Greek and Cyrillic alphabets. Because of my passion for the Russian language. You realize sometimes how amazing it is to live in one place that is (up to a certain extent, of course, to stay objective) a concentrate of every other culture in the world.
Which reminds me (actually, no, it doesn't remind me anything in particular but I like using this formula) that it is 12:50 AM and I must be at my beauty store part-time job tomorrow morning at 10 AM, thus, I must get my... beauty sleep!!!
Dobrye vecher everyone! Bonne nuit!
More precisely, seventy-two days left till I leave to Paris for my exchange program with NYU. In the meanwhile, I am done with school, aka super-tough French high school that transforms you into a sometimes-low-estime Red Bull addict, but when you suceed at the smallest thing, you get that victorious feeling that comes with exhaustion). Why France? Because I was born thinking in French and I have developped a very deep ''relationship'' (if this term is possible) with this language. Because I love France (no, I am not French; and given recent observation, if I were, it is quite certain I would be only complaining about the high taxes and downsides of immigration. And the current baaaaaaaad economy in Europe). Because my dream was to study in Paris but I had to abandon it for practical reasons, and all of the sudden, back in December, I get an acceptance letter where they aren't giving me the choice to stay in New York.
But enough with the college introductory talk. I just survived the French Baccalauréat exams, and some terms are still fresh in my mind. Let us see...
Random impression: the relatively high-end stores close to where I live are having their annual sidewalk sale. It is fascinating to walk there because you realize what "Baby Boom" means, because this is the only time of the year you see such a gigantic concentration of ladies in their fifties or sixties, all colorful and chattering. I feel such dear affection towards them because I see the young feminists who used to dress in those fascinating 1960s fashion and fight for their reproductive rights and other.
Another term would be the ''Economic crisis''. From getting emails with jokes about the place of Greece in the probable economic downfall of Europe (for example, ''L'euro light, dépourvu de Grèce", which I do find racist), to never seeing as many police cars in my area, that is supposed to be safe! I usually feel safe going on a morning jog before sunrise, but not so long ago, I saw an old couple getting arrested next to an ATM. A serie of robberies and crimes would be related to the bad economy. I understand that people are facing hardship, yet I firmly believe that you cannot transgress anyone else's liberty.
Finally, ''Globalization'': because I actually live IN the first world capital and everything around me is international: people, areas, foods, languages. Because of cars with diplomatic licence plates who drive so badly. Because of the graphic beauty of Greek and Cyrillic alphabets. Because of my passion for the Russian language. You realize sometimes how amazing it is to live in one place that is (up to a certain extent, of course, to stay objective) a concentrate of every other culture in the world.
Which reminds me (actually, no, it doesn't remind me anything in particular but I like using this formula) that it is 12:50 AM and I must be at my beauty store part-time job tomorrow morning at 10 AM, thus, I must get my... beauty sleep!!!
Dobrye vecher everyone! Bonne nuit!
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