On writing, sparkling water and chocolate (minor details)

Date: J-69 (Aka June 23, 2010, 10:29 PM).

My recent victory Monday evening (scoring the Mention Très Bien at the French Baccalauréat, if you're unfamiliar, google it, but it's far tougher than the SAT or any other exam you'll take before graduate school... with an average of 16.86/20 and 18/20 in history) left me rather lightheaded. I am delighted but yet feeling nostalgic (the explanation is clear and something I do not wish to share so publicly...) and rather impatient for college to start in Paris (thus the methodic countdown). After the most exhausting senior year of my life, I must say having a fully empty schedule, with no revisions or urgent assignment to turn in, puts me rather at loss. But this will fade, go much faster than I expect, and sooner than I think, I will be back to my crazy life...

In the meanwhile, I know I must push myself to practice what, some say, is my greatest talent: writing. I am discouraged by the lack of inspiration (what on earth am I going to write about... well, writing, but the blank page remains rather discouraging), the countless desperate authors who, despite their talent, are shunned by publishers and by the public. I must say, I haven't really known defeat in my life, (after Monday, my theory being ''I'm a redhead, everything happens the way I want").
Yet again, these are just negative thoughts that I must push away. Maybe this summer, I will hatch a best-selling novel (Must do one of those while I'm still young; I've missed the ''underage'' mark, do I still get the ''wunderkind genius'' label?), or maybe I will not. An idea was born in my head today and I might stick to it. It is rather shocking.

Today, while sipping another bottle of sparkling water (These do a rather respectable replacement of champagne, especially with a bitter taste, when you live in a radically conservative country with a complex about alchohol (Sorry, America, I love you, but those remnants of the prohibition and puritanism in general make you seem as narrow-minded and extremist as the cultures who want to annihilate you...)) and treating myself with coconut white chocolate (too bad the morning jogging effort was blasted...), I pictured myself victorious, with everything going exactly the way I want in my life. Why, in a way, does it seem at the same time so distant and incredibly possible? As humans, don't we strive for happiness? Isn't everything a consequence of our actions? Then, why are our lives so incredibly complicated? Why is there always a double-sided dilemma to everything?


Here go the philosophical questions. And the sign that it's enough for today...
So with a smile (and another glass of sparkling water with a lime wedge waiting for me, although ''dismembered'' for now), I bid thee, o faithful reader, farewell...